If you’ve faced abuse or domestic violence, know that support is available — and you’re not alone. Whether you’re currently in a difficult situation or supporting someone else, this guide offers essential resources to help recognize abuse and find a path toward safety. Even if you’re unsure whether what you’re experiencing qualifies as abuse, it’s okay to seek information and support. Feeling unsafe or uneasy at home is reason enough to explore your options.
Domestic violence often starts subtly and can be hard to identify until it becomes dangerous. Understanding the signs is the first step toward protecting yourself or someone you care about.
According to the University of Rochester Medical Center’s Health Encyclopedia, signs of abuse can include:
Verbal insults targeting your appearance, intelligence, or interests
Isolating you from friends and family
Controlling or withholding money
Hurting or killing pets
Threatening harm to your loved ones
Stalking behavior
WebMD adds to this list with additional red flags:
Pressuring or forcing you into sexual acts
Dictating how you dress
Refusing to use birth control despite your wishes
Guilt-tripping you for not engaging in sex
Locking you out of your home
Using physical violence, such as hitting, kicking, biting, or using weapons
These behaviors often begin in minor, almost imperceptible ways — such as controlling access to money or discouraging time with family — and can gradually escalate. As WebMD explains in What Are the Signs of Domestic Abuse, the physical violence usually comes later, often after the victim has already been emotionally isolated and made vulnerable.
Even if the abusive behavior isn’t intended to harm at first, the impact is real. Ideally, pointing out these behaviors could lead to change through therapy or support — but many abusers grow more controlling when confronted.
If you suspect someone you know may be in an abusive situation, keep an eye out for:
Unexplained injuries or frequent excuses
Skipping school, work, or social activities
Wearing long sleeves or pants in warm weather
Appearing nervous around their partner or overly eager to please them
Sudden changes in mood, behavior, or personality
Even if you only have a gut feeling, it’s worth reaching out. You could help save a life.
Leaving an abusive environment can be incredibly difficult. If you need a safe place, these resources can help:
Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233
Search local shelters through DomesticShelters.org
Dial 211 for a local referral service
Explore options via organizations like NCADV, Just Shelter, FVPS, and HUD Exchange
Leaving isn’t always a simple decision. Asking “Why didn’t they just leave?” can unfairly place blame on survivors rather than acknowledging the many barriers they face. These include:
Financial control: Survivors may lack access to money, bank accounts, or jobs
Isolation: Abusers often cut off support systems
Children: Concerns about custody, safety, or financial survival can make decisions even harder
The cycle of violence: Abusers often cycle through tension, abuse, and reconciliation — keeping the survivor emotionally trapped
Other societal and cultural challenges may also play a role:
Religious or social stigma around divorce or leaving a partner
Disability or LGBTQ+ identity, which can increase vulnerability and reduce support options
Institutional failures, like lack of legal enforcement, inadequate shelter space, or unsupportive law enforcement responses
Escaping abuse is a courageous step. Here are some actions to help you move forward:
Secure a safe place to stay. Whether with a friend, family member, or shelter, protect your location and turn off GPS tracking on devices.
Build a support network. Surround yourself with trusted people — friends, family, therapists, or support groups.
Seek therapy. A licensed counselor can help you process trauma, manage symptoms of depression or anxiety, and rebuild your confidence.
Create a self-care routine. Prioritize your well-being through small acts of care like walking, journaling, or enjoying hobbies.
Set personal goals. Regaining control over your life through goal-setting can improve motivation and emotional recovery.
Understanding the statistics can shed light on the scope and seriousness of abuse.
From NewHope.org:
Most incidents of domestic violence go unreported
Women aged 20–24 face the highest risk
It’s the leading cause of injury for women
Children exposed to abuse may experience more frequent illness
Survivors are more likely to face depression, anxiety, and sleep issues
From RESPOND, Inc.:
4 in 10 women and 3 in 10 men experience domestic violence
Every day, three women are murdered by an intimate partner
Nearly 1 in 5 homicide victims are killed by a partner
1 in 3 teens experiences dating abuse
Half of transgender or gender non-conforming individuals experience domestic violence
40% of Black men and 45% of Black women experience sexual or physical violence from a partner
You are not alone. You are not to blame. Help is available.”
If you or someone you know is in immediate danger or needs guidance, these resources are available:
www.thehotline.org
Open 24/7, this resource offers:
Live chat with trained advocates
Shelter directories and legal guidance
Support for Deaf, DeafBlind, hard of hearing, and Native American individuals
Articles on topics such as relationship abuse, cultural context, and types of abuse
An interactive safety planning tool and tips on internet safety, protecting children, and pet safety
The hotline supports all survivors, including adults, seniors, LGBTQIA+ individuals, people with disabilities, and more.
www.safehorizon.org
The largest nonprofit organization in the U.S. dedicated to domestic violence survivors. They provide help for:
Domestic violence: 1-800-621-HOPE (4673)
Crime victims: 1-866-689-HELP
Rape and sexual assault (NY only): 1-212-227-3000
Offers in-depth, peer-reviewed articles on types of abuse, risk factors, and approaches to care — especially helpful for healthcare providers.
Call or visit the website to find local shelters and essential services such as housing, crisis support, and mental health resources.
www.nrcdv.org
Focused on education and prevention, the NRCDV offers tools for public awareness, research, policy change, and community support.
A confidential 24/7 resource for teens and young adults. Offers support via chat or phone and is available to concerned adults, too.
Helps youth connect with victim services. As noted by Youth.gov, NCVC is a leader in supporting victims through advocacy and education.
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